top of page



You rip around the park

Wheels haggard to fuck

Slam and get up

Your'e gonna skate till your dead

Music blares from the ramps

Land the trick they all chant

Your the king of the world

Shreddings all that you know


The shredder

Ripping boards by the dozen

Kingpins axles and shoes

All fucked on the first day you buy them

But you don't care, fuck it


You can't hide on the chunderbus

Only die on the chunderbus

Choose your chair, not the bog

Leave you with woe and grog 

Pay your fare and puke away

Chunderbus in charge today

Chunderbus at 50

Puke over your seat


You can count on Crackula to rob you blind

He'll steal your heart and then he'll steal your mind

He'll suck you off for an eighth of crack

He'll steal the clothes off your fucking back

Count Crackula

He just found out you bought a PS4

And when he comes he don't knock the door

He'll smash the window

Let himself right in

You can count on crackula to steal everything

Count Crackula


If you want to fucking slamdance,

Do it in front of a fucking train

Your hardcore is shit

No heavy riffs

You ain't got the groove

Nowhere to move

If you want to do spinkicks do karate

If you want to make shapes do origami

If you want to look at pricks do bukkake

Fuck you it's a slamdance suicide

Not hard

Not cool

Your a fucking disgrace


TV and Xbox and porn

Everyone leave him alone

Sleeping, his films and his pets

Living the good life he gets

Lies in on a Monday

Don't put out the bins

Slight twinge of rebellion

But there's just one thing

Kettle Shitter

Warcraft and guitar and fags

Danny Banger says just relax

No need for worry, no need for strife

Carpe Diem this is your life

Same pants on a Tuesday

No milk in the fridge

Not exactly Fred West

But there's just one thing

A hamster's head on your pillow

Danny Banger does what he wants

He'll fucking shit in your kettle

Kettle shitter


Cheers drive

For absolutely nothing

Sick on the seats and Capital FM

Went the wrong way

300 miles an hour

Thanks very much

Here's a hundred bucks

Only one drop off

Bottom of a mountain

Pissing with rain

Robbing fucking cunt

In a job that needs change

Why don't you have change?

So when you gonna change

And give me my fucking change?

Taxi cunts, fuck off


Clap your hands, another kid dead

So don't clap your hands

Fuck the soldiers, and their pain

You need your fucking hat

Hey Bono, fuck you

Funnel money through the system

Fake swiss account

Nothing good, since the nineties

Still think your god

Joey Ramone would be turning in his fucking grave

If he knew you were one of the ones he saved


Next time you're at the supermarket

And you hear the beep

Think of the fun you could be having

On Supermarket Sweep

bottom of page