THE SHREDDER
You rip around the park
Wheels haggard to fuck
Slam and get up
Your'e gonna skate till your dead
Music blares from the ramps
Land the trick they all chant
Your the king of the world
Shreddings all that you know
The shredder
Ripping boards by the dozen
Kingpins axles and shoes
All fucked on the first day you buy them
But you don't care, fuck it
CRACKULA
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You can count on Crackula to rob you blind
He'll steal your heart and then he'll steal your mind
He'll suck you off for an eighth of crack
He'll steal the clothes off your fucking back
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Count Crackula
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He just found out you bought a PS4
And when he comes he don't knock the door
He'll smash the window
Let himself right in
You can count on crackula to steal everything
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Count Crackula
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CHUNDERBUS
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You can't hide on the chunderbus
Only die on the chunderbus
Choose your chair, not the bog
Leave you with woe and grog
Pay your fare and puke away
Chunderbus in charge today
Chunderbus at 50
Puke over your seat
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BONO's A FUCKING CUNT
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Clap your hands, another kid dead
So don't clap your hands
Fuck the soldiers, and their pain
You need your fucking hat
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Hey Bono, fuck you
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Funnel money through the system
Fake swiss account
Nothing good, since the nineties
Still think your god
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Joey Ramone would be turning in his fucking grave
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If he knew you were one of the ones he saved
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KETTLE SHITTER
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TV and Xbox and porn
Everyone leave him alone
Sleeping, his films and his pets
Living the good life he gets
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Lies in on a Monday
Don't put out the bins
Slight twinge of rebellion
But there's just one thing
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Kettle Shitter
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Warcraft and guitar and fags
Danny Banger says just relax
No need for worry, no need for strife
Carpe Diem this is your life
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Same pants on a Tuesday
No milk in the fridge
Not exactly Fred West
But there's just one thing
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A hamster's head on your pillow
Danny Banger does what he wants
He'll fucking shit in your kettle
Kettle shitter
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SLAMDANCE SUICIDE
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If you want to fucking slamdance,
Do it in front of a fucking train
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Your hardcore is shit
No heavy riffs
You ain't got the groove
Nowhere to move
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If you want to do spinkicks do karate
If you want to make shapes do origami
If you want to look at pricks do bukkake
Fuck you it's a slamdance suicide
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Not hard
Not cool
Your a fucking disgrace
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TAXI CUNTS FUCK OFF
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Cheers drive
For absolutely nothing
Sick on the seats and Capital FM
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Went the wrong way
300 miles an hour
Thanks very much
Here's a hundred bucks
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Only one drop off
Bottom of a mountain
Pissing with rain
Robbing fucking cunt
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In a job that needs change
Why don't you have change?
So when you gonna change
And give me my fucking change?
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Taxi cunts, fuck off
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LONG SONGS ARE FUCKING SHIT
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Next time you're at the supermarket
And you hear the beep
Think of the fun you could be having
On Supermarket Sweep